Posted on

Allowing kids to practice making decisions

With our summer vacations soon coming to an end – all the while preparing our kids and ourselves for them going back to school, so much to do, but yet such a desire to see our children succeed and feel confident about themselves – I found these encouraging one-liner boosters to help set things in motion. I love these and have them printed out and stuck in my pocket ready to use when I feel like saying something that might not have the most desired effect. I try to either keep my mouth shut, let them figure things out on their own, or when I remember to do so, use one of these!

A great way to step back and allow our children more practice with decision-making and creative thinking, allowing space for trying and failing and encouraging them to solve problems on their own.

From Vicki:
“If we go about each day with a goal (to use encouraging phrases), we will find it easier to slow down, relax, let go and say, sure- let’s see how this plays out (instead of reacting, steering or trying to control the outcome of ALL the ups and downs, bumps and hiccups along the way).

Can I join you?
(Instead of assuming: I can join just because I’m the parent.)
How would you fix this problem?
(Instead of saying: What a mess! or Look what you did!)
I never would have thought of that.
(Instead of wondering: WHAT ON EARTH are you doing?)
Hmmm…interesting choice.
(Instead of reacting: NO WAY! Not ice cream for breakfast!)
That was a mistake. Oh well.
(Instead of commenting: You should’ve done this or that.)
What an improvement, don’t you think?
(Instead of hinting: You’re not getting the dishes 100% clean.)
I’m sorry.
(Instead of acting like: I’m right just because I’m the adult.
I noticed how hard you tried to do that.
(Instead of noticing: Why didn’t you get it right?)
I’ve learned a lot from you.
(Instead of claiming: As a parent, I teach the valuable lessons).
What you did made a difference in the situation.
(Instead of: Focusing on the outcome, ignoring the effort).